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It was the only way I could monitor everyone in the room and work out who was turning me on the most. But within days, my self-diagnosis became a compulsion itself. While my family played football, I sat on my own, turning over questions about why I was thinking such dark thoughts. My first Pure O thoughts hit me at the age of Toby couldn't do anything to stop the thoughts, but he helped me find a therapist in New York, who I worked with on Skype. There was no game-playing or hesitancy about commitment. I nodded silently, unable to speak. Eventually I did start seeing a guy in Leeds, but it soon became clear I wouldn't be able to enjoy a relationship. We just wanted to be together.

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It was the only way I could monitor everyone in the room and work out who was turning me on the most. But within days, my self-diagnosis became a compulsion itself. While my family played football, I sat on my own, turning over questions about why I was thinking such dark thoughts. My first Pure O thoughts hit me at the age of Toby couldn't do anything to stop the thoughts, but he helped me find a therapist in New York, who I worked with on Skype. There was no game-playing or hesitancy about commitment. I nodded silently, unable to speak. Eventually I did start seeing a guy in Leeds, but it soon became clear I wouldn't be able to enjoy a relationship. We just wanted to be together.

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